What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
