what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
