The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize