Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
