i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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