I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
