I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
