I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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