Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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