it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just cropdusted the office
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
