we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize