i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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