So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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