keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize