Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
