I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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