I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize