Your mouth is God's brothel.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
