Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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