you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
