her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
