Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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