she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
