my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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