What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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