I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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