Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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