just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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