covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize