I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
