So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
