You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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