I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
