Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my sisters under your porch take her home
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
