just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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