David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
