Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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