OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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