And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
