Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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