thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
