John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
