You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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