Are we in a gay sports bar?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
