I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize