I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You need a sexual gate keeper
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
