Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
