believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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