Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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