I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
