i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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