try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
