i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
