they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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