did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize