watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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