it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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