Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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