And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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