guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
