she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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