If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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